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Talking Sexual Empowerment: Coral Osborne is an Activist for Sex Workers Rights

23/12/24 Females, Interviews, News, Slider

Welcome to our latest CAM4 expert interview! In this inspiring and insightful feature, we’re thrilled to spotlight Coral Osborne, a specialist in sexology whose unconventional journey into sex work highlights the importance of open dialogue, support, and navigating the delicate balance between public and private identities.

You may remember Coral from our Candid Convos series, where she captivated audiences with her profound insights on sexual discovery and exploration.

A passionate advocate for sex worker rights and male empowerment, Coral wears many hats. As a sexologist and sex and intimacy coach, she helps individuals navigate the complexities of sexual desires and relationships while fostering radical self-awareness and autonomy. Her personal journey of healing has given her a deep-rooted empathy and understanding of the human experience—qualities that fuel her mission to empower others.

Coral Osborne isn’t just a mentor; she’s a movement!

In her role as Outreach and Partnerships Manager at the Sexual Health Alliance, Coral also supports sex workers in embracing their autonomy and multidimensional identities. Her work continues to inspire meaningful conversations and drive impactful change in the realm of sex positivity and empowerment.

CAM4 Interview with Coral Osborne
Read below or watch the interview to gain more insight:

Can you please introduce yourself and provide us with some brief details about the work that you are doing presently?

Hi everyone, thank you for inviting me to take part in this interview. My name is Coral Osborne, and I currently work with Sexual Health Alliance, a global leader in sexuality education. The alliance, which educates sex therapists, sex coaches, sexual educators, and counselors, started in response to AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) to promote an integrated approach to sexuality among professionals and not to certify sex workers. I’m also a certified sexologist and a sex and intimacy coach, and because so much of what I do is intrinsic to the mind, I also see myself as a psychosexual coach too.

Perhaps you could provide our viewers with a little of your backstory. What brought you to do this kind of work?

I got into sex work around 10 years ago, as I’d always been very curious about the industry. I was originally working on a startup, but I ran out of funding, so it left me wondering what my options were at that point in time. Whilst I was living in the US, I didn’t have a work visa, and so I remember thinking that if I’ve always been curious about doing this, and I’m ok with it, then why not? At the time I was in the tech founder realm, which meant this type of work would be a completely different landscape. However, it would solve a lot of problems for me.

When I started out in the industry, I found it really fascinating, which was actually quite bizarre since I felt no shame about it, and because of the intimate bonds that I established with my clients. Bonds that wouldn’t be possible in the real world, ones that I certainly hadn’t experienced outside this industry. This allowed me to understand more about the male psyche; however, my meetings with women—and it’s predominantly women in this industry—were just profound. It gave me a sense of ‘wow’ and a feeling of being in a kind of simulation on the outside, with everyone living in fear, and then you get in the bed, and you’re stripped down, both literally and figuratively.

There’s also a radical intimacy and honesty that happens in those key moments, which people yearn for, both as a provider and as a client. Because of that I didn’t tell anyone, so no one ever knew, and then I decided to get out of the industry. However, I did come back as I moved through my career. I realised that this was a common thread in my life, and so I transitioned into the industry again a couple of years ago. But this time, instead of having a divisive mentality, I wondered how I could merge these worlds. After all, people clearly want to talk about sex, and they also want to talk about their shame. They want to be vulnerable, and they’re looking for an outlet, and this is that gateway.

That’s when I decided to go back to school and study sexology. I’ve actually done a few different programs, because I really do think that it’s all about having a holistic, well-rounded view of psychology, sexology, sociology, and philosophy, since all of these are key in this line of work.

When, during your career journey, did you decide to do something to better people’s lives? What changed for you to want to do something in this field?

The pivotal moment for me was when I didn’t have anyone to talk to about all the things that I was experiencing. I remember searching on the internet for information about sex worker therapists, escort therapists, and any other support for the industry, and that’s when I decided that I wanted to be able to share everything that I was learning about, as well as my own experiences. I simply wanted to have a community built around that and to create a sounding board, since none existed at the time.

All of the women that I knew in the industry had no support unless they were in porn. Now remember, this is pre-OnlyFans, so no one was speaking about it. There was a kind of dark undercurrent that was forcing everything underground, which isn’t how it should be. I then realized that both men and women were yearning for a voice. They needed someone they could relate to, and the relatability shouldn’t just be condensed down to sex work. It should exist everywhere, and that was the pivotal moment for me.

I remember asking myself, ‘Why doesn’t any support exist in this industry? Unless you’re completely glorifying it and being out, how can we just be whole within ourselves and also do this work?’ Of course, I didn’t have the resources to do this, but that prompted me to just go out and do it. I decided that if I need this, then other people need it too. As I talked to people I met in the industry, they were saying the same things. They just wanted to be able to share. It was the biggest thing for everyone. There was a demand for creating a safe space, whether that’s a sounding board or just being able to help people; it was key for the industry.

After all, people are quick to psychoanalyze themselves and to figure out their catalysts, because they need to understand why they are getting into this industry. Is it healing for them? Or is it detrimental for them? And what does that say about us? So, in essence, it was born out of a need for someone like myself to do what wasn’t available at the time, and that’s what brought me to do this type of work.

A key element for many content creators here at CAM4 is the secret online persona that differs from their ‘other’ life. Is there a win-win to merging the two, and if so, what are the benefits and challenges?

There are definitely a few challenges to this, and I’m constantly learning more and more about this industry along the way. When I first came into this line of work, I was repressed for so long that I would just simply overshare everything. Being a sexologist, the one question I would get asked a lot was, “How did you get into this line of work?” Each time I was asked, I would launch right into my whole life story, and then I would find myself dissociating and not being embodied because I found myself preaching a monologue. I don’t really think there’s a linear answer, and there are always ways to safely analyse and test people, because not everyone is deserving of knowing everything about your whole truth.

We don’t know about everyone’s sex life, and we don’t know about everyone’s personal life. It’s all discretionary. So when I discuss these things, I like to talk about subjects such as OnlyFans or sex work and to speak about them seriously and to not diminish them. In fact, there’s an infamous escort, Lola Davina, who wrote a book called Thriving in Sex Work, which she wrote in such an eloquent way that it reminds us that we are only taken as seriously as we take our profession.

If you’re minimizing it, and you simply say, ‘I’m a sex worker’ or ‘I’m an escort’ or ‘I just do this or that,’ you’re not giving the whole picture. Remember, there are so many things that fall within your realm. You’re also a spouse, you’re a best friend, you’re a myriad of things. You need to own that part of your life and know that you don’t have to overshare. Remember, not everyone is entitled to your whole truth, and there are ways of gradually sharing things. For me, I feel like I’ve put myself on a kind of chopping block, and so holding that duality in my life is difficult at times, because it’s like having to double down on being both strong as well as being completely anonymous all of the time.

The worry is, of course, that you might break, because that’s what we do as humans. We need to sometimes; we need to rupture. However, when it happens, we tend to believe that it all comes down to the sex work, but that’s so not true. One thing I’ve learnt is that my experiences in my career outside of sex work, and also in terms of dating, have been far more traumatic than anything in this line of work. At the end of the day, sex work is a part of me, but it’s not all of me, and that’s the point that I want to get across. We can be holistic, multidimensional people with a myriad of interests; we’re not one-dimensional, and that’s the message I want to share.

With all the knowledge gained by people in our industry, how could sex professionals use their expert experiences to better educate the public?

There are so many ways in which people in this industry can help with that. First and foremost, there’s surrogate partner therapy and sexological bodywork. Of course, there’s no way to vet ethics, and sex work is so stigmatized and unethical in the eyes of the public, but in actuality we’re practicing our ethics, boundaries, and moral parameters each and every day. Therefore, the surrogate partners and sexological bodyworkers are former or current sex workers. Then, in terms of the vast amount of research that can be conducted, our insights are focused on vulnerability, human dynamics, relational dynamics, and intimacy.

Without being too generalistic here, a lot of clients that I see are actually men who are going through a hard time in their relationships. I also know that it’s not just me seeing this; I know a lot of other women who see this a lot. Because of that, our insights on this are invaluable, and it often comes down to people wanting to be seen, respected, and heard by their partners. It’s very similar to women feeling ignored and not being acknowledged. If a man is getting rejected sexually on a frequent basis, that’s going to be internalized, which is going to mean much more than just the sex element, because that’s how the man interprets love and connection as well.

What this really tells us is that communication in general, and how receptive someone is to it, is the insight to receiving your truth, and ultimately you have to decide which problem to solve first.

It’s very easy for us to lose sight of the value of our work. With that in mind, how do you know that what you’re doing is meaningful?

This is very subjective, because the truth is, in any industry, people are very often doing it for the wrong reasons. Now, I know who I am and where I fit into this whole realm, which is because I’ve been able to tie into the human experience; however, what people are really yearning for is to overcome the fear and then find true intimacy. That is the overarching theme that keeps me going in all of this. Whereas so many people are just living cognitively divisive lives, and that transcends into sex, because the sex can tell you a lot about how someone is living their life. As I said, it’s completely subjective, but I know what my purpose is within that, and I’m here to help other people find theirs.

I know a lot of content creators and sex workers who have never thought to do this. They’ve never slowed down enough to realize where they want to be in their lives and where they want to get to. That said, however, people are always far too quick to jump on the back of sex workers who haven’t figured it all out, rather than anyone else, which is absurd to me. After all, sex workers are automatically helping other people by default; it’s simply part of the occupation—and that’s what’s so absurd about it!

What I can do is recommend the kind of process I’ve used, and it’s also worth remembering that you can’t ever fast track it. You have to want to do the work, and you have to like it. If you’re a seeker, like me, then that’s going to come inherently. For me, it was whilst reading The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin. That was a big game changer. To realize that we traumatize ourselves, or we sexualize our trauma, and I can very easily trace this back to my childhood and understand that’s why I am the way I am and why sex has become an outlet for me. By being able to self-audit, you can self-analyze and get curious about yourself.

I also like the idea of turning your pain into a project, so whenever you feel that resistance in life, just be curious about it. Additionally, I do think that for most of us in relationships, that comes with the feeling of loneliness that is felt from a breakup. Whenever those big, pivotal, traumatic moments happen, we should get curious about ourselves in order to understand how and why we react to them in a particular way.

Given the stigma that surrounds our industry, how do you see the culture evolving over the next 5 to 10 years?

I’m very curious about this, and I do think that the recent election is likely to dictate a lot towards how people view the industry. It’s going to be interesting to see what views there are, given the contradiction, hypocrisy, and dichotomy within the political landscape, in comparison to how people present themselves with their internal values, belief systems, and practices. I do believe that platforms such as OnlyFans have done a lot to help the industry. The proliferation of content creators, as well as these types of platforms, has definitely helped to destigmatize sex work.

Then we’ve got the hierarchy that we’re looking at, where people are quick to question what creators are doing on cam, who they’re doing it with, and all the other related questions. This is something that I’m constantly trying to reconcile. We also need to reframe the lens that we see sex work through in order to remove the questions asked about why people do what they do. Sometimes there’s a stigma because people are coming into this industry with some form of trauma, and so it’s important to show the vast array of different individuals we have in the industry. Also, and equally important, is the conflation of sex trafficking and sex work in the media, which really has got to stop.

One of my big initiatives that I’m working on is to challenge the language used to ensure it’s used correctly. I do think that the language used presently stems from the hierarchy that we’ve already touched on. Once I start talking about it, it’s really interesting to see just how little people actually know about the subject. All they hear is ‘sex work’ or ‘escort,’ but if you give me half an hour in a room with them, I can change their whole viewpoint. It’s all about leading by example, which is super important. Starting off small within your own community and then letting it build from there so everyone is walking the walk and talking the talk.

All in all, though, I do think we are headed in a better direction, and from what I’ve seen of content creation, it’s helping in terms of women’s rights and bodily autonomy.

Thank you for making time to talk to us about the incredibly inspiring work you do. Can you let everyone know where to connect with you on social media?

Thank you so much for inviting me along. You can visit my website at coralosborne.com, where I’m constantly sharing what I’m learning in real time. You can also connect through my socials. The details are provided below.