Proper fingering – Reading time approx: 20 minutes
What is fingering anyway?
Proper fingering can take place as part of the foreplay for sexual intercourse or petting. It can be described as the skillful contact with the fingers at the vagina of the woman to increase sexual desire.
The technique of proper fingering can be used to help your partner come to orgasm. This does not have to happen the first time, indeed sometimes both partners need a little bit of practice to get it right. Nevertheless, proper fingering can be a nice experience for both partners!
These are the facts
- 87% of women have trouble having just plain sex
- Many women will therefore also want to be fingered
- Only 23% find their partner can finger well
If you want to be really good at proper fingering you have to read this article to the end! You will learn all the secret techniques that make every woman come.
As a bonus, three women tell us what most guys do completely wrong when they are fingering! Afterwards you will definitely be able to finger properly! – So have fun.
Fingering for the first time
So you’ve been together for a good while now, you’ve kissed and cuddled on the sofa many times. And now you feel that you both want to go one step further.
Of course you’d like to do that, but you don’t know exactly what to do with your fingers in her panties and how to do it in such a way that she will really like it, and maybe even climax.
Well you’re not alone here, that’s how it happens with most people in the beginning. That is why the first piece of advice is not to rush anything. Just wait until a suitable occasion arises.
You will have already noticed that your partner wants more, so if you have enough time and privacy, you should just take the plunge and give it a go. A good way to get started is with Dirty Talk, as this allows you to start proper fingering.
Based on your partner’s reaction, you’ll soon realize if she’s in the mood and it’s the right moment. If it’s not the case, then simply wait for the next opportunity.
So you don’t put yourself under pressure, which would only stand in the way of a beautiful experience.
Quick guide to proper fingering
Proper fingering does not require much preparation. You don’t have to worry about contraception. There is only one thing you should pay attention to: only go there with well-groomed fingers!
Make sure that your hands are clean and the nails are not too long or dirty. As you enter you will approach some very soft and sensitive tissue, and sharp edges could be unpleasant for the recipient, or maybe even hurt.
Always pay attention to your partner’s reactions. It’s best if you can talk to each other while you’re fingering away.
That way you can say what you like to do, right at the beginning. However, sometimes it’s not so easy which is why you should pay attention to how your partner responds to your touches.
Firstly, you should stroke the labia (the lips of the vulva) with your fingers. She will certainly let you know whether she likes it or not. You won’t be able to say that in advance because every woman likes something different.
Next, you can move on to stimulate the clitoris (the tickler). This is a very excitable area of women. If she likes it, you will notice that it will start to get wet in the vagina, and you can continue to penetrate with your fingers.
Tip: If you’re a woman and you’re fine, you’ve got all the prerequisites to become a camgirl.
If it’s not yet moist enough, you can always help with some spit or a little glide gel.
Don’t penetrate the vagina until it’s wet and you feel that your partner is ready to receive. Then, start with one finger and possibly follow that up with one or two more fingers over time.
Take a slow approach here too. You can now move your fingers, and caress the vagina, stretch or gently push them. Again, your partner will show you how hard she likes it by observing her behaviour.
If she moves her body away from you, you should perhaps think about changing your technique, however if she stretches out her abdomen towards you, then your finger exercises are having the desired effect.
Proper fingering – Instructions
Fingering a woman properly is just one part of good sex. That’s why I’d like to give you a few tips here.
Firstly, learn how the vulva is built up, that way you will know exactly what erogenous zones are, and also which are not. Be aware that women are sensitized differently, which means that with one woman you can finger the clitoris directly, but with the next one she will fight wildly because she can’t withstand such a direct approach.
Touch slowly and tease them a bit. If she thinks you’re going to finger her well, then take a step back and kiss her e.g. on the neck – that will drive her crazy!
At the beginning, only pay attention to their outside (vulva) including the clitoris. If it gets really wet you can also finger deeper into the inner area. But be aware that not every woman likes it deep.
But don’t put pressure on yourself. If she doesn’t come during proper fingering you can always take your tongue to help and lick it.
1. Knowing the woman’s anatomy
If you’re not quite sure whether you have enough knowledge of the female anatomy, then I strongly advise you to deal with it.
So you have a good enough understanding, covering both their outer anatomy (vulva) and their inner anatomy.
As a quick refresher here is her inner anatomy:
2. Rub the clitoris properly
The easiest way to get her an orgasm is to rub her clitoris.
In fact most women need, or indeed prefer, clitoral stimulation for orgasm.
One study found women reported that their clitoris is more sensitive than their vagina in terms of pleasure sensitivity.
The most important finding from these scientific studies is that while vaginal stimulation can contribute to orgasm, most women find that their clitoris is the most sensitive area.
The clitoris should be stroked, stimulated, rubbed and loved if you want to make it orgasm easily during proper fingering.
There are a number of different ways to rub the clitoris, as shown in the examples above and below.
You can rub from top to bottom, from side to side, or at any other angle. However, there are a few important caveats, you need to make sure it’s comfortable for them…
And… It almost always needs some kind of lubricant, otherwise it will be more painful than pleasant for most women!
There are two options:
The ideal option is to first press your finger slightly into her vagina and use her natural juices as a lubricant on the fingertip.
If you ever feel your finger is drying out, just go back to the vagina. However, for some women this does not provide enough lubricant.
In which case, you can always use a sliding gel lubricant. This can be stored anywhere within easy reach of your bed!
3. Slow but intense caressing
Caressing her from the bottom of her vagina up to her clitoris is a great technique to make her happy. It offers a really good way to moisturize your finger using the vagina’s natural lubrication.
Of course, you can also stroke in the opposite direction, from her clitoris down to her vagina.
Vary your technique by changing the pressure and speed of your finger movements.
But pay ATTENTION! The movement should not be constantly changed. Choose the best technique and pay attention to the reactions.
There’s nothing women hate more than when the technique changes every 5 seconds. This is a recipe for disaster (similar to the starfish position that men hate).
Breathe faster, moan, and her body reacts, and so on…
If you’re at a point where you think you’ve got the stimulation technique right, then stick with it. If not, then it usually only takes a little more time and practice, so be patient and you’ll get there!
4. Pampering the woman’s U-spot
The U-spot is considered a kind of insider tip, because hardly anyone knows about it.
On the picture you can see the place under the triangle (shown in a slightly darker colour). It is the area directly above her urethra and to the sides. It looks U-shaped (or V-shaped), but upside down.
As always, when fingering you must pay attention to ensure there is sufficient wetness!
Then you can start with gentle stroking, as shown in the picture above.
You can also extend your movement a bit upwards. So you not only stimulate the U-spot, but also the clitoris.
This is a good recipe to spoil your partner!
It should be noted that not every woman enjoys U-point stimulation equally as much. So if your girl isn’t on it, don’t worry too much, just try to use a different technique.
Reading tip: If you’re already a professional at proper fingering your girlfriend, then try anal sex without pain.
5. Apply the 4-finger technique
If your partner needs even more stimulation to reach orgasm, then you should try the 4-finger technique!
All you have to do is rub four fingers over her clitoris, labia and vagina in a circular motion.
With the help of their natural lubrication on your fingers, it will become much more slippery, wet and ultimately satisfying for them.
Again, you should adapt your technique. Try varying it to see what works best.
Every woman is different. The advantage is, of course, that if you meet a woman regularly and have tried everything at least once, you will always know what works best for her!
But think about variation as that is very important, because otherwise it will quickly get boring and that should always be avoided when your fingering.
You can change the pressure, adjust the size and direction of the circles, or even the number of fingers you use… two or three fingers may feel just as good as four.
6. Stimulate the clitoris foreskin
Some women have a clitoris that is so sensitive that direct contact is very unpleasant.
If you are with a woman who has a hyper-sensitive clitoris, it will hurt her no matter how gently you stimulate it – therefore she is not going to enjoy it.
Luckily, there is a simple solution: you only finger or rub the clitoris foreskin instead.
This is the small piece of skin that covers her clitoris, much like a foreskin covers the helmet of a penis.
Using this technique, her clitoris foreskin acts as a kind of buffer between your fingers and you can still give her a lot of pleasant stimulation.
7. Caressing the labia
The labia is not quite as sensitive as the clitoris, but there are many pleasant ways to delight and stimulate it. Slowly rubbing it can bring her close to orgasm, but without peaking, making it a great prelude, so to speak. Since the clitoris is very sensitive in a lot of women, you can make them very horny first with the help of the labia.
If this is the case and she is already very wet, you can try to rub her clitoris directly/finger it. Often it is “tolerable” for you and she will comes to a climax relatively easily.
If her labia is long enough, you can also use it as a kind of additional buffer for the clitoris (similar to the clitoris foreskin).
8. Finger the G-spot correctly
The G-spot is about five centimeters in her vagina.
You will find it on the front wall (towards the belly). If you push your finger in and bend towards the pubis (i.e. upwards), you should find her G-spot.
The G-spot is the point at which you can reach your clitoris from the inside.
Pro tip: So if you rub her pussy inside and her clitoris on the outside, she gets pleasure from both sides. If you’re not sure where to finger your partner, look for the place that feels very rough and is surrounded by a kind of gutter.
That’s their G-spot. It’s usually easier to find her G-spot when it’s super aroused, which makes it swell.
It’s best to spoil the G-spot with the curvature of your fingers, a kind of “make her come movement”.
Don’t forget, the G-spot is the key to making them squirt. This is, of course, an advanced issue, and you can find out more here.
HOW TO FINGER THE INNER PUSSY
Whether you’re aiming for G-spot stimulation or just rubbing your vagina in general, these tips can provide some great help:
- Use lubricants.
- Make sure your fingernails are short-cut and smooth.
- Rough hands are unpleasant (always worth remembering)!
- Wash your hands beforehand to avoid the spread of bacteria (always have good hygiene).
- Start with one finger, then increase it to more later.
- Pay attention to their reactions. If she’s tense or pulling away, or seems disinterested or in pain, then ease off (and vice versa).
Orgasm by fingers (summary)
If everything fits and is right for your partner, you can add in a bit of fingering for orgasm. This is a super feeling for your girlfriend (or wife), and you really shouldn’t have sex without it!
If that’s not the case, however, it does not mean that her fingers do not like it. Again, you have to play a little bit at each other and maybe it will work the next time, or the next time.
Don’t put pressure on yourself with the efforts, simply enjoy it when she likes it. You can also assume that she has certainly already fingered herself and if she tells you in the situation what to do, you can follow her tips calmly as she knows they will work!
After all, she knows what she likes.
Basically, your partner can get to orgasm in two ways. There is both the clitoral and vaginal climax.
If you stimulate it (i.e. make circular regular movements) your partner will come to orgasm that comes from arousing the clitoris. Again, you have to find out how forceful or gentle to be – and remember which works well for your girlfriend.
In the vagina is the so-called G-spot. Now if you stimulate this, the climax will work well from here, and will be one that you will both enjoy.
But please remember… Do not penetrate with your fingers until it is wet, and stay in the front area for a while. Then, gradually press deeper until you realize you’ve hit the right spot.
All in all, you can say that you don’t have to be afraid of fingering. With a bit of sensitivity and plenty of (play) time, this can be an extraordinarily nice pleasure for both of you.
Fingering FAQ
What is fingering?
Fingering is the sexual stimulation of a woman with the hand or fingers. There are many different variants, and this includes fingering of the vulva, clitoris, and vagina. No matter what kind of fingering you choose, it is all about creating excitement for the woman, and then ideally bringing her to orgasm.
How to finger correctly?
You can easily learn the best ways of fingering, and there are many different techniques out there. For example, the 4-finger technique or the G-spot massage. Furthermore, there is also a list of no-go’s, which should definitely be avoided (so don’t forget them)!
Your fingers must always be clean, and the woman must be nice and wet. And you should only increase the pace slowly, as an immediate penetration into the vagina is definitely a no-no.
How does fingering feel?
Fingering should ideally feel like a mix of total relaxation and ecstasy, all at the same time. Since happiness hormones are released when fingering, the woman being fingered should feel like she is on cloud 9. This feeling will often continue even after she has come to orgasm!
Women’s fingering tips
Tips from Hannah, 23 years
“The clitoris. It’s the thing up there. Take note of that. It’s not a record player and you’re not a DJ, so stop treating the poor little bean like that, it hurts damn. Slowly and steadily wins! It’s not just about penetration. Sure, it can also be beautiful. But nothing goes beyond guys who know the clitoris.
Be gentle yet firm and make sure everything slips. Then we thank you later.”
Tips from Marie, 19 years
“Look, the vagina may look complicated, but it really isn’t. First, please cut your fingernails, because there is literally nothing worse than the feeling that your interior is being scratched out. My most important tip: The outside is just as important as the inside. Don’t go straight away and don’t try to squeeze four fingers into a very dry pussy.
Circle first over the clitoris, vary the tempo and start with light pressure and work your way up. This works wonders and makes them really wet.
Listen to their breath, if it gets faster, then you do something right. When the time comes, you can put one or two fingers in and try to stimulate the G-spot. P.S: She likes to integrate other things, such as sucking the nipples or kissing and making sure she really enjoys it.”
Tips from Sarah, 32 years
“Okay, short question to all the guys. Why do you think I’m coming in and out through stupides. Of course, I cannot speak for every woman. However, I am sure that hardly any woman enjoys this.
Sometimes it feels like I’m basically being fisted. Please don’t make the mistake of fingering us women if we are not really wet! Why don’t you start with your train first? Finally, we also give you a good blowjob.
In my opinion (and from my girlfriends) the clitoris is the key. In fact, I prefer it if you don’t even use your fingers. Just play with my clitoris. Only my clitoris. Small circular movements, at a beautiful slow, intense pace – perfect.”
You don’t have anyone to finger?
Then take a look at Cam4.com and look at some nice women who are really fingering themselves.
I’m sure you’ll find someone great soon! – And then you can also apply all the tips for fingering. And remember – have fun!