OK let’s not beat around the bush here folks (pun not intended), a gentleman’s jizzum can be a bit icky; particularly if you are not overly familiar with said gentleman – as in past the ‘shit I forgot to shave my legs and I’m seeing Mr X tonight’ – stage. And even if you are in a committed, loving, lustful relationship there are times when us gals just aint in the mood to be spunked on. It’s nothing personal, it’s just…well, like I said a bit icky.
That said there are times when it can be quite the turn on and if both partners are on for it, then why the hell not. If tonight, or any other night for that matter, happens to be one of those nights, then here’s some protocol to follow along with some practical stuff.
Gentlemen, if you have just met your lady friend whilst out enjoying some disco dancing and beverages then we would suggest that you don’t jizz on her face just yet. As mentioned, it’s quite different when you are in a relationship with someone but if you dump your load all over her mascara the very first time you meet her, well, let’s just say you may not be meeting her again. Unless of course you have asked permission and she has said ‘why, yes by all means.’ If she has declined your offer of a free facial then do respect her wishes.
Another important point, if the answer has been in the affirmative then be a nice chap and let her know when it’s about to happen. So she can prepare herself. See the following paragraph.
Ladies, if your gentleman friend has expressed a desire to let his love juice loose on your face then we would strongly suggest closing your eyes. Cum in the eye can be a tad uncomfortable at best and sting like a mother fucker at worst – that’s if it goes right in the eyeball. Sorry to be graphic here but we must be clear! So keep your peepers shut until the deed has been done and if you think your eyes have been spunked upon ask the owner of the spunk to pass you a tissue pronto.
Tissues – very important in a situation like this. Whether spunk has been deposited on face, tits or belly, nobody really wants to stay covered in it for longer than is necessary. So keep a towel or box of tissues by the bed so you can wipe yourselves down and have a good old giggle straight away.
Then it’s back under the covers you go for a good old chat about the decline of Man Utd. Or whatever it might be.
Goodnight one and all.