Ah the old ‘fuck buddies’ chestnut. In theory a bloody marvellous idea, in practice can sometimes lead to complications, head melt and badly bruised feelings if things take an emotional turn, as they often do. But before we get to the head melt let’s look at the positives.
It would be no exaggeration to say that modern life is a bit fucking mental, and the one thing that so many of us are lacking is time. There is just never enough of it to do all the things we want to do. And I think most people would agree that a proper grown up relationship requires a lot of that precious commodity. So if you don’t have any to spare, but like any red-blooded human being you’re a big fan of sex, what is the alternative? Well you could take your chances on a ‘dating’ website – God knows there are enough of them; with more than one or two that exist purely so strangers can hook up for a quick bonk. However, this won’t suit everyone, and sites like these do attract some serious weirdos. This means you have to be really careful about who you decide to hook up with, which in turn means spending ages reading through profiles trying to figure out who looks least likely to want to put you in an adult nappy the minute you walk through the door. (Not a word of a lie, this happened to a friend!) And we’re right back to the problem of time again.
The other alternative is the ‘fuck buddy’ arrangement. Now you can either fall into this kind of arrangement with a buddy you already have, or it might be that you meet someone new, decide that you both fancy the pants off each other but aren’t really interested in anything serious, so sex when you both feel like it will work really well. There is a lot to be said for it. You get regular sex with someone you like, probably have a good laugh with and is (as far as you can tell) reasonably sane. You don’t have to put any time into the relationship, meet their parents, hang out with their awful mates or deal with their annoying bad habits around the flat. You hook up, have a drink or two, fuck, and go on your merry way that same night or the next day. Everyone’s a winner, right?
Well, like I said, in theory – yes they are. The problems arise when ‘feelings’ start to come into the equation. And ‘feelings’ can be a right bitch! Both parties may have entered into the arrangement feeling more or less ambivalent about the other person but the longer the arrangement continues the more likely it is that one person is going to start caring for the other. It’s kind of inevitable in a way; it’s just how we’re wired. We are emotional, sentient creatures and we’re programmed to form attachments of some kind to other human beings.
Now when this happens it’s clear that you’re no longer in a fuck buddy situation, you’re now into the ‘fucking someone who wishes they were more than my buddy’ situation or vice versa, and in all honesty this is when it’s time to call it a day. Situations like this never end well and one person usually ends up feeling shit the longer it goes on. Our advice would be to put an end to the arrangement as soon as it starts playing on your mind, or as soon as you start thinking about your fuck buddy in a romantic way. It may be hard but it will be much better for your mental health in the long run. Unless of course, the feelings are reciprocated. In which case, your fuck buddy could just become the person you can be arsed spending every spare minute you have with!
Good luck!