The one thing I think we can call agree on (otherwise what are we doing on this blog) is that sex is fun. But there are times in every relationship when it’s not so fun, and when that happens it can be bloody stressful and put a real strain on other areas of the relationship as well. One of the main causes of sex-related stress is our old friend Mr Premature Ejaculation, who pays a visit to quite a sizeable percentage of guys at some point in their lives.
Now every guy is different so PE for one guy might be a marathon session for another but generally speaking if you’re only managing the hokey pokey for around two minutes or so then it’s fair to say that you could be experiencing premature ejaculation, and if it’s causing a problem for you and your partner then it’s definitely time to try and sort it out.
As with everything else in relationships the key to a successful resolution is to talk about things. There’s no point trying to pretend it’s not happening and hope that Mr PE will bugger off and go and find some other poor sod to hang out with. Cos the chances are he won’t take the hint and will stay around just a bit longer, like that fucker at the party who refuses to get off your couch when you blatantly need to get to bed.
So, what causes this condition? Well, the truth is no one really knows. Helpful, right? Some scientists suggest that it’s something that goes back to our caveman days where the man who came quickly was more likely to plant his seed and enlarge his tribe before his cave woman clubbed him over the head! Others suggest that it may have something to do with a man’s early sexual encounters. So if you were trying to get your rocks off in your girlfriend’s bedroom while her Mum and Dad were down stairs watching Ant and Dec then this may have led to a type of ‘conditioning’ where it was necessary to get it over and done with quickly. Others still believe that it might be hereditary.
Whatever the reason for your PE the good news is that in most cases it is something that improves as you get older and if it’s something that has suddenly appeared out of the blue the chances are it will disappear again with time. The key thing is not to stress about it – easier said than done we know – but stress and anxiety over your performance will only make the problem worse. So try not to get too worked up about it and remember there are lots of other ways to keep your partner satisfied if intercourse is off the menu for the moment.
If it’s really starting to bother you and you feel that the problem is not going away then a trip to the doctor might be in order where you can discuss your options for treatment. Some people find that therapy of some kind helps while others go down the antidepressant route for a while, which has also been shown to help. However, anti-ds shouldn’t be considered a long-term solution as they are pretty potent drugs that can have other side-effects that may not be as welcome.
Your best bet is to talk things through with your doc, investigate all your options and decide which one is right for you. And remember, as annoying as it is, there are lots of other ways to have fun in the bedroom!