Anal sex without pain – Reading time approx: 16 minutes
Anal sex is a practice that can bring loads of fun. However, it’s often the case that people avoid anal intercourse. They do not believe that anal sex is possible without pain.
Women, in particular are definitely afraid of it. But can this be avoided? In this article we’ll show you how to have painless anal sex!
Where does the pain come from?
The anus is not made for sex! The sphincter can also cause problems as it is primarily designed to keep the asshole locked. Of course there are exceptions, since it is not such a problem to relax this muscle during bowel movements. However, it usually only does this for a short period of time, but that doesn’t matter. Anal sex does not have to be painful!
Why do women have pain with anal sex?
Women suffer particularly during anal intercourse and there are different reasons for this. The most common one is their sex partners simply don’t know how to behave during this type of sex. Too fast, too hard, too impatient – many women know what I mean… In porn, of course, it’s different. The actors will drive it wildly and he will put his penis very quickly into the asshole. Since almost all men watch porn, this becomes imprinted as acceptable to them, and due to a lack of experience, it then becomes the norm. The receiving sex partner gets injured and/or has pain during anal sex. In some very unfortunate cases, medical emergencies can also occur!
Sometimes, however the woman can also feel insecure. This often happens the first time they try anal sex, since she doesn’t know whether she will find it pleasurable. The result: it is unrelaxed and she does not let the sphincter become loose. These cramps can very often cause the onset of pain quite quickly during penetration for the first time.
Why are men in pain?
But of course anal sex can also be painful for men. On the one hand, this is due to the narrowness of the anus – there is more friction due to the cramping. This is particularly noticeable during penetration, and if everything is not yet really loose and the man is impatient, it will hurt quite quickly. Then there can be a kind of barrier, particularly in the case of poor hygiene, i.e. in the case of stools (poop) in the intestine. The penis will almost certainly meet the future excretions of the woman. And in some cases they can be harder, which is painful for the man. You see: good anal sex is not as easy as vaginal sex. So let’s start from scratch.
Prerequisites for painless ass fuck
There are some prerequisites that should be taken into account, so that it becomes a good well rounded sex experience. Let’s go ahead and take a look at this!
Both must want to (consensual)
It’s quite simple, both partners must really want to have anal sex. If you just persuade your girlfriend to do so, and she doesn’t really want to, it will rarely be a good experience (for either partner). Communicate with your girlfriend or wife (or whoever she is), and don’t forget that this is also known as ‘Greek sex’.
Trust is the basis
Mutual trust is extremely important. Remember to think about your partner, if you’re more of a ruthless guy and you don’t really understand your partner, then it’s going to be difficult. After all, why should she drop her guard if she doesn’t properly trust you? That’s why I recommend you to only have anal sex once you have already built up a sound basis of trust. If you’re still at the beginning of a relationship, or maybe it’s a one-night stand, then it makes more sense to avoid it altogether, that way it doesn’t cause any issues.
There are exceptions of course. If the woman really enjoys anal sex, and she asks you to give it to her like that, then there’s nothing against it. Presumably, she is better prepared and has the appropriate experience. But this is very rare, and that’s why we are going to move on with the tips.
Relaxation is a must
Relaxation is an absolute must, otherwise the sphincter will not be opened and your dick will not be able to penetrate (at least not without pain) – and that’s not fun, believe me! There are days when you are just not relaxed enough, and then good anal sex simply will not work either. This includes sexual arousal, meaning that if the woman is not really horny enough, she won’t be able to relax properly. So make sure you’re both in the right place, and the sex mood is just right. The best way to do this is with plenty of foreplay. This makes everything looser, wetter, warmer and a lot less painful.
Time and patience
Let’s face it: you need a lot of patience (and I mean a lot). It will also take a lot more time than you thought. Indeed, for some women it can be a real torment. If it’s so tight that it’s hard to move forward, you just have to accept that’s the way it is! You need a really thick coat of lube as well. I’ve been in the situation where I wish I had “vagina sex” instead, simply because it didn’t move forward. But if you feel it’s not working, talk to your partner and ask for regular feedback. Under no circumstances should you just push more and more, because that’s how you guarantee it will hurt during anal sex.
Be sensitive
Please be sensitive. The woman will accept a certain degree of pain for your pleasure. Which, of course, doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy it, quite the contrary. Women can actually get a really good orgasm during anal intercourse (believe it or not)!
Drain and clean the intestine
Before we start, one thing is very important. The girl should make sure she has been to the toilet before you get going – this is one of the most important points to remember. You should definitely be free of faeces (poop). After all, you don’t want to dye your penis brown and you don’t want to have any pain during sex.
Remember, faeces residues on the penis isn’t only unpleasant, but can also become a real problem. The bacteria and germs that are found in poop could get into your bloodstream, and you could end up passing them on. Also, the chance of cystitis increases quite highly in this situation, and that doesn’t sound at all sexual does it!
Condom yes or no?
A condom can, of course remedy this situation. Bear in mind, however that you have to change it after the anal intercourse (or take it off). In principle, a condom should always be worn during anal sex, as the risk of infection with STI’s is very high. If the lady you want to have anal sex with is not your permanent partner, I would definitely recommend a condom! If it’s your girlfriend, you can think about it: there are pros and cons either way.
The reduced gliding ability speaks against condoms. And don’t forget: you want to get into a relatively narrow hole, and that really doesn’t help to make it pleasurable. Of course you can counteract this, just think of Safer Sex. But in the end, it’s up to you to decide!
We are now looking at how you can prepare yourself so that anal sex can still succeed without pain.
Preparation – this is how anal sex succeeds without pain
There are a number of techniques you can use. However, this is probably not going to be enough, so there are also some products that can help with painless anal intercourse.
A gliding gel
First off is the most basic item – the gliding gel. To make it slip better, you need gliding gel (water based lube is good for the butt). That’s not a question, it’s a real basic. In principle it is also possible without it, but this variant is only interesting for experienced and prepared couples. A standard lubricant works. There is also glide gel that has been specially designed for anal sex, but this is actually more marketing than a better product.
I do not recommend other natural products. The classic is your own spit, but this is simply not enough here, and only makes the whole thing drier (after a short time).
Humidification by the tongue
With the help of your tongue you can pamper and moisturize the anus. The anilingus is suitable as good foreplay, as it helps to make it loose and moist – thus reducing the pain during anal sex.
Elongation by butt plug
A good tool for better elongation is a butt plug. It’s a kind of dildo designed for the ass. However, there is a degree of safety measure here, you don’t want him to slip in and then not get out! That’s why you shouldn’t use a simple dildo! There are a few different sizes, depending on your needs, so if you’re a beginner you should test a small model first, and then slowly increase towards ‘penis’ size.
If you, or your girlfriend regularly use them, then the sphincter expands as lot more easily. This can be done both in the short-term, and in the long-term. For short-term stretching I recommend the following: as soon as the butt plug is in, you move it up and down. You do that with feeling (and slow). This is how you achieve a short-term stretching effect. The asshole should now be a bit looser.
Fingers
Of course, you can also create the same effect with your fingers. However, your finger is not very wide unless you have sausage fingers! So, if this is not the case, you should use more than one finger. Proceed slowly and always start with one finger and then lead a second one, and so on. Now you can finger and stretch the asshole a bit.
Be really horny
You should only have anal sex if you are really horny. Incidentally, this applies to both partners. The woman has to be very horny, because she can only really relax and has a lower feeling of pain due to the horniness. The man must be horny, because otherwise his erection is not enough to penetrate the anus. A weak erection often leads to frustration because a soft dick just keeps slipping.
Spray and cream
An interesting idea is also to use a so-called spray or cream. When applied directly to the rosette, there is a slight numbness, which ensures that less pain occurs during anal sex. It also loosens the sphincter a little. So you get exactly the pleasure that make the sex much better, and you may find things don’t hurt.
During sex
So, if the preparation is right, the act will work much better, and pleasure comes easier. The following tips will help you with painless anal intercourse.
Very, very slow to penetrate
First for the man. You have to aim really well. Put the tip of your penis exactly on the middle of the asshole. Now, take your time. You have to put pressure on, but you can only increase it very slowly. Be in touch with your partner. Let them tell you when you can continue to advance. You may find this comes in several bursts. You press a bit, then you pause. Now you give the sphincter the opportunity to get used to your dick. This can take a few seconds, and sometimes several minutes (this is not uncommon).
Relax pressures on the PC muscle
At the same time, the woman must relax. This is not only mentally, but also physically. It is similar to bowel movements. In order for the sphincter to open, you can help things along. It must feel as if something is to be pushed outwards.
To do this, the PC muscle must be relaxed. This lies between the vagina and the anus (on a man it is between the testicles and anus).
Keeping erection upright
You have already learned that the process can be slow. It can be hard work. Presumably you don’t feel stimulation for a while. It is, therefore not unlikely that you will lose the hardness of your erection. Attention! Unfortunately, it makes penetration much more difficult.
If it comes down to it, it’s worth breaking off again, strengthening the erection and starting again!
Inhale deeply
If the woman is too cramped there is an easy way to provide relaxation. It may sound trivial, but the deep inhalation into the abdomen provides this relaxation. It also clears the head. This makes it feel much more comfortable for them. My tip: Definitely try.
Don’t change hole
Did it work successfully, did it stop the pain during anal? Now you can really enjoy it! However, a common beginner’s error might happen at this moment. The anal intercourse was fun and you decide to change hole again. The reasons for this can be very different. Maybe your girlfriend will come more easily or you just want a little more variety. No matter what, please don’t change the hole. The bacteria you have on your penis will be transferred to the woman, and cystitis is therefore very likely!
Pain after anal sex
No matter how you try it, there can always be pain after anal sex. Of course, this is not a bad thing. You need to know that it usually doesn’t mean bad consequences. This is 99% normal pain. Because if you follow the rules just discussed, the risk of serious injury is extremely low. To help you feel some relief, here’s a tip from me. Get an Aloe-Vera plant. You can always break off a piece of it, and it gives kind of jelly-like cream.
Aloe-Vera has an enormous effect on your pain after anal sex. These literally dissolve into air. It also supports the healing process of your skin and muscles in the anus. After all, this secret tip is the number one on the gay scene. No wonder Aloe-Vera is also used in so many creams. But instead of buying a finishing cream, which usually contains dubious ingredients, you can benefit much more cheaply, directly from the plant.
Abdominal pain after anal sex
Abdominal pain after anal sex might occur if you are too cramped. This is especially true if you felt uncomfortable while straining your abdominal muscles. Often it is not noticeable at all. Therefore, it is very important to provide relaxation in your abdominal area. Another possibility is constipation. If you have not emptied your anus properly before anal sex, this can be pushed up by the penis and the whole thing can get strongly compacted. This, of course, causes pain after anal intercourse. However, the problem is also self-solving. If you want to speed it up a bit, I recommend a fiber-rich diet, which has a laxative effect.
Sex positions for anal
So that you have a lot of fun with anal sex, I would like to introduce you briefly to the simplest positions.
Doggy
The classic of the sex positions, ‘Doggy’ is also very well suited for anal sex. You have a clear view of her hole. It is important to get your cock right and thus more easily penetrate it. It is important to note, however that you should be taller than the woman. If there is no size difference, the anus is simply too high. You don’t just get on with it. Yes you can stretch yourself a little bit, and it can position itself a little deeper. Unfortunately, this leads to discomfort on the part of both involved. And that’s exactly what we want to avoid with anal sex.
Missionary
Missionary also works quite well here. However, it is a slightly modified form. Because at this exposure, the anus is very deep and inaccessible. So it’s best to take both of the woman’s legs and push them up until her hole is at the right height. Now you have full control and can introduce your cock into it without any problems. You don’t have to worry that she finds it uncomfortable. It may look a bit uncomfortable for the viewer, but it isn’t. Especially if the lady likes it a little more dominant, she will like this position very much!
Reverse cowgirl
The last position is Reverse Cowgirl. This option is for advanced users, but it is quite feasible. The woman has full control here and can therefore determine what happens. This is of course very advantageous, as it can determine speed and depth. This is a good way to practice anal intercourse without pain.
Did you enjoy reading about anal sex without pain? Then why not try our article about Sex Fantasies