5 Things You Must Know Before Attending a Same-Sex Wedding
Same-sex weddings are still rare enough that they can present unexpected stumbling blocks in propriety, leading to the occasional faux pas. Here are some tips for keeping your etiquette game sharp, so you can stay on the happy couple’s Christmas card list for life.
Don’t crash the wedding
If you are not invited that means they do not want you to be there. The only way you should show up is because you are a firefighter and something is on fire or you are a cop and someone has called 911.
Do use the couple’s preferred terminology
People in non-standard relationships often have non-standard relationships with gender, and thus, with gender-coded words. Let the couple be the guides of the words you choose, and if you’re not sure, just use their names. And please continue to follow this rule after the wedding.
Don’t use your RSVP to express your thoughts on gay marriage
If you don’t want to attend, just check “regrets” and leave it at that; you don’t need to explain why you won’t be there.
Do find a card that reflects the couple’s genders and gender expressions
If you’re not sure, find a card with a picture that has nothing to do with attire or gender, maybe something with bells or a cake. Or just skip the card and stuff an envelope with cash.
Don’t ask when or how the couple plans to reproduce
This question is so not necessary. Not every couple wants to have children. Those that do want children often find that decision intensely personal.
